Blago And Rahm Have A Conversation
Priceless.
RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.
ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.
EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.
BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...
EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.
BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting names. Good
people. How's the transition going?
EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to fucking tell me
anything, or what, cause I--
BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks already
made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--
EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov, you know that.
BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger here.
EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger,
you think I'd be interrupting my important fucking business to take
this goddam fucking phone call?
BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.
EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being fucking busy.
Now what did you call about?
BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still
wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is
for the President-Elect.
EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second thoughts
about the job.
BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?
EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.
BLAGO: She won't take my calls.
EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.
BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?
EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean governor? A.)
You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking asshole. C.) All of the
above.
BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking
Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he had shit to
go on?
EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we don't really give a shit.
BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?
EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm not gonna
fucking kiss your ring over it.
BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're talking
about. It's worth a fuck of a lot more than appreciation.
EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking list, you want
to make your own list then make your own fucking list. [Raising voice]
But if you're asking for anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie,
then you can fucking stop talking right now Rod.
BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute. Who are you
to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.
EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're fucking joking.
BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this list I got,
the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for the Senate. I just
ripped it in two. How you like that? Oops, Harris just dropped it in
the shredder. Harris?
HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?
BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?
[Whirring, shredder noise]
HARRIS (muffled): I did.
EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?
BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.
EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on fucking speakerphone? Who the
fuck do you think I am?
BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're shit, you hear me? Don't
come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any more.
EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.
BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck you. I
might even put myself in there, how you like that Rahm? How you gonna
explain that to fucking Barack, every time he's gotta call me up for
my fucking vote. He'd have to take my calls then, wouldn't he?
EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!
BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your attention now, didn't I?
EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second Rod. And I
want you to listen carefully, because this is the last time I'm ever
going to talk to you. You are fucking dead to me. You been fucking
dead to Barack since '06, now you're dead to me. Know what that means?
That means you're dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all
these friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten
foot fucking pole.
BLAGO: Oh now you're the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.
EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
BLAGO: Fuck you!
EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit's gonna hit the fan, maybe
tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally brings down the
hammer it's gonna be my name that's going through your head. You won't
know the hows or the fucking whys, but it's gonna have my fucking
fingerprints all over it. Have a great life fatso.
BLAGO: Hey fuck--
EMANUEL: [Click.]
RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.
ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.
EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.
BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...
EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.
BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting names. Good
people. How's the transition going?
EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to fucking tell me
anything, or what, cause I--
BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks already
made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--
EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov, you know that.
BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger here.
EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger,
you think I'd be interrupting my important fucking business to take
this goddam fucking phone call?
BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.
EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being fucking busy.
Now what did you call about?
BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still
wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is
for the President-Elect.
EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second thoughts
about the job.
BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?
EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.
BLAGO: She won't take my calls.
EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.
BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?
EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean governor? A.)
You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking asshole. C.) All of the
above.
BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking
Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he had shit to
go on?
EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we don't really give a shit.
BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?
EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm not gonna
fucking kiss your ring over it.
BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're talking
about. It's worth a fuck of a lot more than appreciation.
EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking list, you want
to make your own list then make your own fucking list. [Raising voice]
But if you're asking for anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie,
then you can fucking stop talking right now Rod.
BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute. Who are you
to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.
EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're fucking joking.
BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this list I got,
the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for the Senate. I just
ripped it in two. How you like that? Oops, Harris just dropped it in
the shredder. Harris?
HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?
BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?
[Whirring, shredder noise]
HARRIS (muffled): I did.
EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?
BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.
EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on fucking speakerphone? Who the
fuck do you think I am?
BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're shit, you hear me? Don't
come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any more.
EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.
BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck you. I
might even put myself in there, how you like that Rahm? How you gonna
explain that to fucking Barack, every time he's gotta call me up for
my fucking vote. He'd have to take my calls then, wouldn't he?
EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!
BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your attention now, didn't I?
EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second Rod. And I
want you to listen carefully, because this is the last time I'm ever
going to talk to you. You are fucking dead to me. You been fucking
dead to Barack since '06, now you're dead to me. Know what that means?
That means you're dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all
these friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten
foot fucking pole.
BLAGO: Oh now you're the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.
EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
BLAGO: Fuck you!
EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit's gonna hit the fan, maybe
tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally brings down the
hammer it's gonna be my name that's going through your head. You won't
know the hows or the fucking whys, but it's gonna have my fucking
fingerprints all over it. Have a great life fatso.
BLAGO: Hey fuck--
EMANUEL: [Click.]
Note to readers, this is a parody.
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You should do one about Handy Hannity:
Hannity to producers: I know the real truth, but my audience is stupid, and they think I'm God, they will believe anything I say. I'm so clever.
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Gonna do that at some point but it will be hard imagining my IQ to be that of 50.
Sean Hannity is doing a great job destroying the Republican Party. With him leading "conservatism in exile" I couldn't be happier. Today on his show he said he couldn't get elected anything in politics other than dogcatcher of a small town. He was actually telling the truth for once.
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